I had a dream that my sister went into labour. We were at a party, and everyone was doing other things, so I took my sister to the hospital. I don’t drive, so we walked. We walked along a kind of nineteenth century dusty road in the deep south. And I swear, you could SEE the baby moving in there, turning around and such. Her water hadn’t broken though, and when we got to the hospital they said she wasn’t really in labour at all.
But when I woke up, I thought that I should write a few words to my soon-to-be-forthcoming nephew/niece:
1) You are much anticipated.
2) We are expecting you to be a boy, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we will be most surprised, pleased, and wildly amused if you turn out to be a girl. Because everyone has agonized for so long over your name, assuming you’ll be a boy.
3) Last I heard, they were settled on Max.
4) I would have gone with ‘Elijah’, so be glad I’m not your mom.
5) I already love you. This must be a biological thing, even for aunties like me.
6) If you ever need anything, really, like, a place to stay, or some random adult to talk to, or a little cash (if I have any!), help with your homework, advice, someone to bitch at, a book to read, a movie to zone out in front of, a meal, a place to hang out, a gift for your mother, tickets to a hockey game, a stiff drink, you know, anything, you know where to find me.
7) Do you have any idea what an insane family you’re coming into? What an insane world you’re coming into?
8) Looking forward to getting to know you. I bet you’re going to be cool. I wonder if you’ll be artistic like your mom. It’s okay if you’re not, cause, like, I’m not either.
9) I wonder if you’ll turn out like you’re auntie. Hehehhee. If so, you know I have your back.
10) I’m glad you’re growing up in Guelph. Guelph’s a great place, and I guess you’ll be a Waverly kid. Nothing wrong with that. Foursquares is a fun game.
See you soon!
