I’ve been a bit busy of late. It’s a bit easier to blog regularly when you a) don’t have a full time job, and b) aren’t trying to write a novel. Just my opinion. I’ve been saving the better parts of my brain for work and/or creative (or not so creative) writing, so there’s only a tiny wedge of myself leftover for my blog lately. And often that wedge would prefer to curl up in bed and fall asleep, and so.

It’s been ages since I went trolling through my search strings, so I had tons to choose from this time around. And boy were there ever some gems in there. [If you’re new to this feature on my blog, a short explanation: when you type in a search query on Google, and click on a site you found there, the person who owns the domain you visit gets a hit from Google with your original search string in it. Thus, people who are perversely interested in such things can see what kinds of search strings lead people to their websites. What follows is a selected list of search strings my website has been collecting over the last month.]

Some initial favourites:

we are not the lost generation
find essay about balance school and partying
carrot cliches
google will always be a piece of shit

And from the WTF files:

winnie the pooh slash fanfiction archive

I was tempted to leave this one without any commentary, but I can’t resist. What sort of slash pairing do you imagine would be dominant in a Pooh fanfiction community? Would the biggest draw be the hurt/comfort of Pooh/Eeyore? The playfulness of Piglet/Roo? It’s anyone’s guess, really. (n.b.: If you ever want to freak out your friends, just ask them that question.)

how can i relate the professor to understand me

Wow, I think that question sort of answers itself.

mazar imp sales

They’re slow this season, I gotta admit.

how to typed a straight bar

I can’t parse this one at all. If you have a guess, please let me know.

how many places is my browsing being saved at asshole?

This might be my favourite search string EVER. Someone has just discovered that the internet is not a passive experience, but that everything you type into those boxes is being logged somewhere, and every website you load keeps a record that you loaded it. I particularly enjoy the name-calling at the end. Do you think he’s talking to me, or to Google?

encyclopedia britannica ready reference crack

I’m posting this one because I like the idea of “ready reference crack”.

my magic man Rochelle

I’m shockingly low on a) magic, and b) masculinity, unfortunately.

tilex fresh shower chat room

Can you imagine what this would be like? A whole chatroom dedicated to Tilex Fresh Shower? How long can that conversation go on, really?

i live in mississauga and

Trigger happy! Didn’t even finish the sentence!

brendan greeley aim

Brendan, someone called for you. They didn’t leave a message.

And, as usual, I have my list of search strings that came from the cheaters of the world. People using a search engine to get their homework done, and not in a good way. Some examples:

capricorn systems exam papers
narrative essay bout a difficult decision you have to made and the process you went through t oreach yourr conclusion
confessions of an ugly stepsister chapter summaries
i need information on dogs for my speech
what is feeling sorry for celia about

And then there’s the technical questions, which this time around were dominated by people concerned that they were being blocked on MSN and wanted to know if it’s true (if you have to ask, you’re being blocked, friend), and people wanting to sneak into people’s private posts on livejournal:

clear google search strings
hack livejournal locked posts
how to be added to someone’s friend page in lj without them knowing
msn how to know if blocked
how to write a good progress note
random im windows popping up
how do i know if i was blocked on msn?
msn blocked how to know

Another fun search string category is the Direct Questions.

what does technologically literate mean
do you need a licence to own a hair salon in ontario
what does a search string look like
when and why was the internet created?
what is the free thought? by wikipedia
when did winnie the pooh began
where to find a metaphor
where does debbie travis live
should i count twisted pagegetter as search engine
how do you cite a work cited page with mutiple volumes
why was the internet created?
why the canadian government doesn’t like change

Good times, good times. More soon, I promise.