rochelle.mazar.ca

The Emperor ordered that a group of children be collected, and instructed the foster mothers and the wetnurses who reared them to nurse them, bathe them, and treate them well, but not to talk to them or make the sounds which it was customary to make to infants. He was curious to know in what language these children would begin to speak: Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Arabic, or possibly the language of their natural parents. The experiment failed, and the children not only failed to speak but died. They could not live without handclapping, friendly and joyful facial expressions, praise, and lullabies.
–Shulamith Shahar, Childhood in the Middle Ages

if you were a painting youd be a preraphealite joan darc
on the verge of a swoon but with a sharp blade, unsheathed
glinting in sunlight, yellow shoes on 🙂

I am no different from anyone else who writes: idiosyncratic voice does not come easily. One must contend with academese, for instance, its kafkaesque apparatus of critical theory. But when I become frustrated with my grammar, with my obligation to jargon, with the anxiety of influence, I hand myself a chocolate and a reminder: It could be worse. I could be writing this in Polish, in Poland. I could be having to entrust my whimsy to a language that clatters like a knight burdened by yet another crusade. Instead, I can turn to my computer screen to face the cursor cueing words in a language I play most and lie less in and I think,

I don’t ever want to go back.

blue says, “two four six eight who do we defenestrate”

I know I’ve posted this pic of my dream tattoo before. But I’m posting it again in reference to last night. So let’s start from the beginning…

I went over and got apple care finally. It cost me a million dollars (well, $250!!) to be covered for the next two years. But the rest of this story my convince you of why it might be worth it. So I bring in my computer to the UofT computer store. I’ve done this before, their tech folk are great and really nice. But it seems they just hired two new people who don’t have a CLUE.

I came in and said, “Hi, I’m here to buy apple care.”

And they said, “Apple huh?” And they said I needed a receipt (even though I have a sticker on the back of my computer with their barcode on it), and they don’t know if I can buy more coverage, and how much was my computer, because that makes a difference, and blah blah blah…

And finally they brought my computer back to the tech guys. Who know just what to do. And while I’m at it I show them my puck, whose cord has been steadily turning green. The tech guys give me a new one. Anyway, so tech guy comes out and flips my computer over and does some paper work, and flips it back over and….ACK! The little leaf from my apple symbol has popped out! It’s gone! He’s horrified, and searches around desperately.

I said, “OH NO! Without that little thing, my DSL won’t work!” He looks at me, terrified.

I said, “Oh, I’m just kidding!”

He said, “Don’t do that, you SCARED me!!” He took my number and told me that he’d keep looking for the piece, and order me a new one if he couldn’t find it. I asked for a pink one. (My ibook is graphite. I always wished it was pink.)

So then I went to buy apple care, from these people who still don’t think I bought that computer there. And they don’t know that they sell apple care. The tech guy comes back out with his coat on.

He said, “Really, you can just buy it, go ahead.”

I said, “I’m trying.” I probably made a these people don’t know what they’re talking about face, so he hopped over the counter and showed them where the apple care packages were. I think based on his ease about the whole thing, they let me plunk down my $250. But, you know, this way I can get a puck every 6 months for the next two years, and I can get my little leaf back. Oh yeah. That’s the good stuff.

So then I trundle down to the Duke of York, where the folks from the CRRS gather on fridays after work, and there was all of ONE person there. Shocking. I was late, too, and it was just me and Jim Carscallen (retired UofT prof). We chatted about ESP and ghosts and stuff. And then a very sweet French woman arrived and told us that she had just arrived from Paris for the Renaissance in the 19th century conference, which I completely forgot about. After that a few others shuffled in, included my buddy Crane. (aka, Mark.) It was roughly then that, having my computer with me, I showed him my possible tattoo:

Crane thought this was a good tattoo to get. He thinks it would lend itself well to tattooing. And he thinks it’s beautiful, and I agree.

So then we went out to Gabby’s on Bloor for eats and drink, mostly because it was pouring rain and I didn’t want to walk any farther. It’s always a good time with Crane, let me tell you. We determined that we will go shopping in the market together, because he’s a much better cook than I am. Fun!

Needless to say, I had a brutual headache this morning. Bah.

I’m editing a paper for a friend, and she’s flippin’ brilliant. Here are a choice quote:

The image of the computer as an advanced calculator has gradually been transformed into an image of the computer as a theatre, as a stage for a series of performances where contemporary narratives are being collectively created and played out in ‘real time’. When text-based domains in cyberspace are seen as performance spaces, a literary format insolubly intertwined with the electronic environment is created.

Catspaw says, “I’m looking for some resources to set up a substitution for the current education-oriented goal as posessed by the object task #5891 within Project Achieve. Funding such a project would allow this resource to dedicate its overall functional purposes to entrusted functions such as the rapid transfer of data between the communicative cerebral of said task, and the participants in Project Achieve’s virtual online environment. It would also allow for this resource to locate other resource tasks, whose job would be to assist this main resource in basic functions, while allowing it to allocate more of its time to important wetware decaying observation functions on a television frequency. With your funding, we will be able to not only continue the development, but also remove cluttering forked information from this important object task. Thank you.”
Catspaw says, “IE: Give Catspaw money. Then she will MOO. And hire slaves. And watch TV. Thank you.”

on the MOO:
[Student] exclaims, “you’re so great hildegarde! what would i have done without you?!”

via email:
THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU ARE REALLY WONDERFUL!

Well, i guess it’s just one of those days.