rochelle.mazar.ca

Well, someone at work offered to take my Friday shift, thank god, so now I can go home. Fun. Well, it will be fun, I’ll be staying with Andrea and Erik, who are also hosting Blake and her boyfriend….I adore Andrea, I adore Erik, and I adore Blake, so I assume I’ll adore her boyfriend too if I get to know him. 🙂 And that very nice girl Lisa I met last weekend lives downstairs, how handy. And Andrea went ahead and included me in her lunch plans for Friday….added me to the tally for the reservation. What a doll. So aside from all the other stuff I’m going to have to do (spend time with grandma, and my aunt Ingrid, and yet somehow manage to avoid seeing my father and making my mother feel in the middle again), it should be a good time. As long as I can find a bra to wear with that damn dress….for some reason, the dressmaker decided to eshew the only request I made of her….that the back COVER the BRA I WAS WEARING WHEN SHE MEASURED ME. It’s a good three inches too low. So now I have to find some fancy-ass bra to go with this dress. And the straps were a bit wonky too. So I guess that’s Friday’s activity…trying on dress, forcing dressmaker to finish it, blah blah blah….

And I have phone calls to return in spades after work today. And after the shopping I must do before that. And I’d really just like to read my book. Oh, and I think my new book from chapters arrived in the mail, I got a notice for a package and that’s all I’m expecting. The Stone Carvers, it looked like another great Canadian novel.

salmon and I agreed that we should go to Another Story on the Danforth to redeem our gift certificates, gifts from Patty and Triangle. I’m almost drooling at the thought. Someone (maybe it was Soshi?) suggested to me that when you get a gift certificate like that you should buy an expensive book you would never buy yourself. So the question is: do I go for (expensive) quality, or quantity? A series of softcovers? Maybe 2 1/2 hardcovers? A coffee table book? My leaning is to go for quantity…since it’s going to be quality away. This reminds me of my weekly sci fi book purchase in high school….I would go to the bookstore every Friday with a 5 dollar bill and get a sci fi/fantasy paperback and pocket the nickel. And every time I scanned the options, I was always chosing between 3 or 4, and, since they all cost the same, I usually picked the thickest one. Those were the days….

Up way too early as far as I’m concerned. I was at salmon’s until about 1:30am (eating, jamming, yacking, complaining, all the good stuff), and didn’t get into bed until about 2:30am. And of course I forgot that I had to be at work at 9am this morning. And I think I’m here until 5pm too. Great. What was I thinking? (Oh, right, money money money…) This place is a tomb too….I haven’t even seen my boss yet. Maybe he got hammered at the centre BBQ last night and is taking the morning off…I would be jealous, of course, but not unhappy about that….

Being tired always turns my mind to sad and disturbing topics…I found strange marks on my ankle this morning and was utterly convinced that it was skin cancer.

I’m half looking forward to the wedding this weekend (since I get to see some great people, after all) and half dreading it with all my heart. Armies have been mustered on both sides of the family warzone. The little white flag has been pulled down and the muskets are in full view. So it’s just a matter of time for the fireworks to really start….

Oh boy. What a weekend. I had a great time at my sister’s second and final shower…I met a lovely girl named Lisa who lives in the apartment downstairs whom *everyone* has been telling me I should meet for ages…she was really funny and gave me some great book titles to look up….and I spent some great time with Andrea and Blake, the other bridesmaids. And, surprise surprise, Janine came all the way from London to party with us…and what fun it was.

And now I’m back….helping with some students do *something*, though I don’t really understand what. And I’m thinking about what needs to be ‘fixed’ in the moo…I think i’ve been thinking about that for some time.

I went to see Shrek tonight with my friend Dylan. I really enjoyed it, though I had heard mixed reviews going in…it was very cute. And funny. Sometimes I wondered if it was tastefully funny (lots of bathroom humour) but cute.

And now…I’m exhausted…

You have a secret Hobbit name…go find out what it is! Mine is Goldie Gamwich of the Bree Gamwiches. I’m so glad I’m from Bree. I always had a soft spot for Bree.

Two thoughts are swirling around in my head today, two quotations that have been with me since I was about 13….for some reason they are now functioning for me right now at the same time, they’re the opposites for each other, and that’s compelling to me…

“My marks and scars I carry with me, to be a reminder for me that I have fought His battles who now will be my rewarder.”

This is actually part of an engraving around the stand that holds a memorial book to soliders from the first world war in the parliment buildings in Ottawa. So I guess I learned it when I was in Ottawa for my grade 8 class trip. Now, the actual point of this statement is that going to war is a godly thing to do, and I’m not sure what to make of that, but I’d rather deconstruct it in a different way…I love the idea of the marks and scars being somehow optional, ‘I carry with me’, there’s a sense of choice there, I will carry these…it reminds me of the Ondaatje line, “wounded without the pleasure of a scar.” The scar has a purpose, and you can claim that purpose and take that purpose with you….

“When thou passest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned, for the fire is roses.”

This is the second quotation. It’s actually from Pilgrim’s Progress, not the most fun book in the world to read…I actually read it in full in my last year at Carleton in a Renaissance lit class. But I got that quotation from Madeleine L’Engle’s A Swiftly Tilting Planet when I was a kid, that was one of my favourite books…I still like to reread that one. But….this always stayed with me…which, as I know now, it really a statement about how Jesus is always with the pilgrim, protecting him, keeping him from harm that looks devestating, but faith will turn the fire to roses….lovely, lovely, but now I’m thinking of this differently….this is exactly what Ondaatje said, “without the pleasure…” the fire of roses is still a fire, but the pilgrim doesn’t get to carry his marks and scars with him as a reminder that he has fought. Is it better this way? To be washed clean of your battles? Or better to be scarred by them, not to be crippled, but to be reminded?

Wow, Pyra’s T1 provider bites. God knows what the problem is, but blogspot has been down for days, and the folks at Pyra seem to be pulling out their hair. And of course Ev is in Amsterdam living it up, so the others are left to fend for themselves. At this point they’re begging anyone in the area who thinks they can bring the T1 back up to take over. ISP wanted: Pyra and thousands of bloggers need you!

I’m preparing for that class tonight…what a mess. First, I didn’t realize that the GUI won’t allow for multiple initial dig points for classes….never assume you understand something, that’s what I learned from that. So the system will allow for only ONE point from which to dig. So I set all the four rooms I want them to dig from to public_hub = 1 (Thanks to Brin) , so that anyone can add an exit from and to those rooms, and changed the building instructions to ‘manual’ (text @digging) instead of GUI. They can do the describing in GUI, and the @dig in text. It’ll work. 🙂 Oh, and as I type that….another of the wizards got around to changing the GUI to allow for multiple initial dig points. Right now. Just now. Am I going to go back and fix what I just fixed? No way. Screw it.

And…I just met a student from this class online who is bringing on two OTHER students to be the research subjects for his/her own personal project, without getting permission to do so. And this thing starts tonight. What have we learned?

1) It’s GREAT that profs and students are interested in using the MOO for a variety of reasons. And clearly there’s lots to be developed and lots of good ideas to follow through on. And even though this class might be tricky, I think it will be a success in some way or other…probably not the way it was supposed to be a success.

2) teachers of all shapes, sizes and colours should have a TUTORIAL before the even DECIDE to teach inMOO. Not that the moo is that difficult, but you’d better have a grip on the space before you hop on in. I suggest that teachers have a quota of things to do before we even LET them bring their classes on. That’s probably a little harsh. But seriously. It could go something like this:

– build a room.
– add seats, details, and room noises.
– upload a picture.
– add a picture to your room or character.
-change your player messages.
– send MOOmail.
– page someone.
– build 3 different kinds of objects.
– describe 2 other projects on the moo.

I mean, it could be something we SUGGEST teachers do before they bring a class in. Because we can’t hand hold everyone from beginning to end….I don’t mind being helpful, but there comes a point…

Patty and Jim didn’t really have a clue what was going on with achieve either, but they were ALWAYS in charge of that class and were ALWAYS in control of what went down. And they also knew when to step back and bring others in to teach the stuff they weren’t clear on. (Unlike this current class, where I am the ‘help’ and wasn’t even invited to the initial moo introduction class.) And they sat back and listened long enough to get a grip on the space and to know how much they didn’t understand about it. I have to say I’ve never had a more inspiring conversation than explaining how things work on a moo to Patty, in terms of it being an object oriented space as opposed to a website, and then watching her digest that and come up with how to use this basic nature of the space in really creative ways….she truly is a remarkble teacher, and I’m coming to apprieciate that more and more. I mean, to be open enough to listen and learn and digest….she has some GREAT ideas for doing moo projects with students, and she while she talks about herself as a techno zygote, she was with us on that wavelength 100% about the possibilities of the moo and turned around and gave the kids the most amazing set of guidelines that were totally workable and totally true to the space. So she’s not just a good teacher, she’s a good learner. Maybe that’s the key….

I suspect that because of that openness, the triangle kids are going to have a better understanding of the MOO as an educational space than these OISE graduate students will….now that’s telling.

Alternative trajectory of my life:

519, (705), 613, 617, 416.

Area codes where I lived, with the summer camp one in brackets.

Well, after all kinds of strange blog problems….

I did manage to meet with Trish this afternoon. What a doll! I had such a nice time chatting with her. So easy to talk at. 🙂 And I can see she’s a talker too, so I’m glad we’ve got rendezvous #2 already arranged. I wandered home in the rain (and it wasn’t just drizzling) with no umbrella (I seem to have mislaid it) and no jacket. So now I’m snuggling back up again with the computer and thinking about dinner….

Aaaah….another long day.

I had a very long, very unproductive meeting with the teacher for the new online class project I’m working on. Let’s just say that one of us was having trouble with the extreme basics and I’m a little scared that one of us is preparing to teach a unit in a space that one of us doesn’t understand in the slightest. ‘Nuff said.

But…I did retrieve the day by creating two new generics I’ve been thinking about…. a generic talking stick room and a generic talking stick .

It is based on the tradition in many
Native American nations of using a ceremonial stick to determine who speaks.
Many native political structures begin meetings with the elder taking the
talking stick; when s/he is finished speaking s/he passes the stick to
another, and the process continues until everyone has had their say. They
believe that by pacing opinions, and forcing everyone to not just react but
think and speak with gravity helps groups to make good and thoughtful
decisions.

So I feel good about that, though this is just TSR 1.0, the beta. I think I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome too. Fun wow. 🙂 Obviously I’m working too hard. But I enjoy it…I saw a silly movie today called Matilda. (The stuff they put on TV during the Victoria Day long weekend.) It’s about a little girl who has telekinetic powers. I have to say that programming makes me feel like *I* have telekinetic power…I think it and it happens. Now that’s exciting. And now I’d better rest this hand/arm of mine…

Arrrrgh….

Yesterday was the world’s longest day. For me. Started in the wee hours preparing for a 9am meeting with the instructor for the class I’m helping out next week…and I think I’m stepping on the toes of every single person I know…suddenly Force For Good isn’t such a good thing….

And my dress isn’t even partly finished, which is fine…and I have no shoes…and now I’m so tired…I slept on the floor last night….because the bed sucks….now I’m heading out to watch a flick at a chick’s place….nice chick makes for a good night….

Manhattan Funk, a new blog by my one and only New York friend. A blog to keep an eye on….

Donatello says, “people say I’m alot like eeyore”
Brin [to Donatello]: “Slow, depressed, with a nail in your ass?”

Worked *very* hard today getting ready for the next moo class that’s coming through. I don’t think I’ve written that many help files in my life. I’ve made a vending machine that dispenses pretty much everything…maps, the help bell, the file manager, the sketch board, my coin (just for fun), and all of my help files to date. I wrote a basic moo commands file (VERY basic), eMOOtions, building and personalizing your home, and MOOtiquette. I can’t quite decide what should be next, if anything. But my head is spinning, my stomach is roiling, and the idea of another help file makes me feel a little sick. So perhaps it’s time to switch gears.

I have NO idea how this class is going to go. I’ve already made a faux pas with my ring bell verb…it’s set up to contact me when rung, and then a list of others…but that list needed to be approved first. So I got my knuckles rapped for that. But the bell is working well now, and is appropriately coded, thankfully. I’m just hoping everyone forgives me my tresspasses and leads me not into temptation. Well, they can lead me into temptation if they really feel like it, since salmon has already led me to guacamole. 😛 Well, so I hope this class goes okay. I know how difficult it was when we switched the triangle kids from in class instruction to online instruction…it’s a real shift, it’s complicated. So this class is doing all their moo work from home….I wonder what issues will come up first. My desperate scrabbling for help files is my attempt to anticipate 12 students ringing bells at me all at the same time….

I definitely get the impression that I wasn’t the first choice for this project. But I also definitely see why it’s fallen to me. There are some people in this world that just can’t be depended on, unfortunately. But I’m pleased about the team that I’m going to be working with..Penny has some really interesting ideas, and I’m looking forward to seeing how those ideas grow as she comes really understand the space she’s working in…I think it will be amazing. And Miao is a sweetheart, I’m looking forward to working with her more closely. She’s a gem, and she has an amazing capacity to bring resources into the MOO. The shift for me from playing in the MOO to working in the MOO was almost imperceptible…I didn’t even really notice it until Trish asked me if achieve is a place where I play or work. What I’ve been doing with salmon and jason hasn’t felt like actual work. It hadn’t really occured to me yet. Maybe it’s because my actual ‘work’ is history, and this is all a sidebar that keeps me going…

I’m not sure what I would do without them right now. They, all of them, salmon, jason, emma, miao, brin, EvaB, rhonna, all of them, have really helped me move from a place of being totally miserable in Toronto to being pretty darn happy here. I’ll have to think about an appropriate expression of that….I’m sure I can now program something for that…

Well, I got asked twice if I could make a ‘ring for service’ feature for a class….so, I created an object (a bell) that, when rung, sends a message to me saying that the person who rang it needs me. (Don’t we all like to feel needed!) When it comes to class time, I suspect that bells will be ringing constantly. I’m not sure how I feel about responding to a bell, but it’s just more intuitive than a page…who pages people these days? And isn’t paging really when a person gets their name called over a loudspeaker? They’ll get to that eventually, but until then, then can ring the bell. And yes, we realize the disco connection. (I would have put on a sound clip if I could find one.) Of course, it won’t tell them anything special if I’m not online….not yet. That can be the project for tomorrow. No triangle tomorrow! Weep weep!

And I’m hitching a ride back to Guelph this weekend (again) to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress, and again I don’t have shoes yet. Maybe that also can be on my agenda for tomorrow. We were thinking about silver sandals. I’m sure I’ll have lots of uses for silver sandals later on in life…

And, I managed to convince Trish (a former Doe Lake camper and current native studies/psych/education student at Trent) not only to moo, but to get a char and build a room! Amazing! Granted, it didn’t take much arm-twisting to do it. She’s really able to see the possibilities of the place….so far, she’s the first person to have found me through my blog…I’m looking forward to seeing who’s next. 🙂

I had a lovely afternoon with my dear friend Soshi. We don’t spend NEARLY enough time together. Why? No good reason. We just read each other’s blogs obsessively and feel as though we’re in constant contact….what did we do before blogs? She fed me so well I’m still full to brimming. Some people just feed you body and soul…

Oh man, I’m so tired…tired right down to the bone. But I had a great time with jason and Yuka and Andenye tonight. And with salmon and Patty, too….we started at the faculty club with the triangle teachers (Jim and Patty), and me and salmon….man, that Patty just amazes me, she’s so incredibly bright and perceptive. We had a really engaging conversation about gender that I apprieciated tremendously. Still much to talk over with all my other gender argument friends…that’s a conversation I never feel I get to the end of…

After the faculty club jason and I headed over to meet Yuka and Andenye at a cute little Italian restaurant (where Sarah works on occaision, when she’s in Toronto). Good food, funny conversation, and it was nice to meet Andenye (finally). jason has been trying to get us to meet one another for some time….and after THAT back to jason’s to snuggle the cats and chat some more….and finally, at midnight, jason’s eyes started to cross and Andenye drove me home in her fabulous red jeep. She’s a very smart, savvy, intelligent woman. I was impressed over and over today.

And jason and salmon proposed that I take on the triangle project myself next year. That part completely stuns me. And Patty gave us PRESENTS for helping with the class, as if we needed PRESENTS…just being allowed to be there was a gift in itself…and Patty was a bit extravagant as well. Crazy woman. So sweet, though…and the kids all signed cards for us….I’ve signed a million of those cards in my time and I had no idea what kind of emotional impact they have…I will honestly treasure it.

Wow, sometimes you have one of those days when everything just goes right….

Note to self: I’m not here to live up to anyone’s expectations.

Ooops, I misunderstood salmon, oh dear….but, misunderstanding makes for good conversations sometimes…

MOO and the classroom, continued
Okay, so I guess I said ‘screw the research’ because I wondered if that was getting in the way myself…we talked about it today after class, that maybe the best way to do what were were trying to do, given the short amount of time we had, is to bring in knowledge from somewhere else and present it in moo…so that the time they spend in the computer lab is actually working on the moo stuff, that kind of thing, and not research as such. So that they’re not absorbing new information and learning about a new medium at the same time. Still…

I guess I’m just pretty mesmerized by the possibilities of building. I admit pretty readily that progging is really amazing…I mean, it changes your whole relationship to the moo, you feel more in control of it than restricted by it…and I agree that that would be a very powerful thing to teach the kids…and I know they could handle it, they could handle player messages, and that was tricky, I know they could easily handle simple programming. And probably even more complex programming at that. I guess it comes down to what we’re DOING bringing students into moospace.

So what are we doing bringing students into moospace?

I think we just hit the point where salmon and I take different but not mutually exclusive sides. As a historian, I’ve been thinking about the medium in terms of representation…in terms of using the medium to say something in particular…really as an alternative to the standard essay. So building is critical to me, and I think it’s a very expressive medium. But, this is also coming from an obsessive builder. I’ve been nothing but a builder for 7 years and been pretty pleased with the results…the generic objects are great, and so easy to subvert and remake…like, one of the triangle students is using rooms as people. I guess I’m really inspired by people using the structure in creative ways…maybe that’s why I’m so keen on the structure in the first place…

But it still comes down to the same question, what are we doing bring students into moo space? What does programming, for instance, bring a student? salmon talks about creation, about making something that acts like it’s living….that’s cool, I admit, I just want to know where that goes, where that leads us…

Now, this is coming from someone who was really reluctant to see moospace as viable for education in the first place. Now, I do see that it has serious potential, but I guess I got sort locked into what it can do and I’m comfy to stay there…

Well, so, in the end, I guess it comes down to what we want students to get out of the experience…what do we want students to get out of the experience?

Something’s wrong with my blog, I think…not updating on blogspot…ah well.

So I’m in Guelph now. I went to lie down and take a nap and my parents rushed off somewhere. I have no idea where. The dress thing was this morning and it all happened incredibly fast. I hope I end up with a nice dress. I think I will. She measured me really generally and I’m coming back next week to try on what she has. I’m supposed to have shoes by then, so I guess I know what my job for the week is.

I didn’t realize how not great my dad’s monitor was. I thought this was a great monitor. It all comes down to how it displays my blog.

MOO and the classroom
salmon says screw the research for the triangle kids, they should learn to prog. I’m not so sure. I’m just not sure they should be researching and learning moo at the same time…more like, do a research project in another unit, and bring that project here. Like, if they know from jump that they’re going to be translating one of many projects into an online space…something historical, or literary, or something…or even an issue that’s come up, something they want to work through, like, personal space issues, or something…so that when the get to moo they’re just working from their heads mostly. Or, from notes they took, or from a paper they wrote, or something like that. It’s hard enough to learn the medium, let alone research at the same time…admitedly…and yeah, programming is great, and it lets you do lots of things, but there are a lot of things you can do as a builder. None of the triangle kids have actually tried to do anything that requires prog knowledge…though one wants something like the plague in one of her rooms. The rest have mostly been toying with bots a lot, which is a challenge, and requires no programming. So…..but, no, I wouldn’t be at all opposed to teaching programming to kids pretty quickly, but it would be good to see them understand the prinicples of building first…it would be cool if we had more time.

Moo has upsides of students that I didn’t visualize at all…I always saw it as a space for creating and representing (since that’s what i do), but I didn’t think of it as…well, I did think of it as a literary space, but I never thought about how the moo could encourage literacy. You have to be so precise with moo, if you misspell it won’t understand you in a command. And it’s interesting watching the triangle kids wrestle with spelling in their descriptions. The moo project as we’re running it is a creative writing project before it’s anything else…it’s a creative writing project before it’s even a computer project. It just happens to require a monitor, a keyboard and an internet connection.

So…what if we did have more time…

We talked a bit about whether a theme is a hinderance or not. I have taken both sides of the argument.I still think it would be interesting to do something like this moo project in conjunction with a specific class, like english, or geography, or history, or something…because content is important in the end. Well, it is for me, but that’s what i do, so of course i would think that. I think there’s a lot I’m not thinking of when I say that…I mean, I feel like there are topics I’m missing when I’m thinking about it like that….I guess it’s like my constant criticism of my sister’s art. I tell her, if you’re going to stand up and ask people to listen to you, you’d damn well better have something to say. I’d like to see moo projects say something, use the technology and the progging and everything else as a medium…maybe it would work better in the end if you do one project that’s completely in your head, no research, but a cohesive project just the same, with a prog tutorial (make a simple verb, maybe a personal social verb, or something like that), and THEN a second project that needs to be more…..well, informative? A presentation of information?

I’m so pleased about one of the projects from the triangle program…well, mostly because it’s historical and I kind of pointed out that it would be a good idea…the student just came online now to tell me that he just got back from the library and he learned lots of stuff about being gay in pre-modern Europe, and he’s going to be building that knowledge into his project….*that* is great to hear. Read, process, restructure, present. Fabulous. That’s a skill. I recognize that I’m a bit one-track about how the moo can be used…so I’d like to see what salmon has in mind…

I think the folks are home. More later.

Alright, I’ve got to go..I’ve got to STOP programming and go do other things…so sad….back to Guelph for me to be measured for a bridesmaid’s dress…fun fun….

Well, I’m at work, I’m connected via U of T ethernet with my own computer, finally (yay!), and the official reasoning for this is because I have fireworks and I can do fun image editing for the website, but really I just want be able to screw around with stuff at work with my own computer. It’s true that I do work for the website on here, though. And I’d love to do more. Our website is SO boring, have a look. But now I’m staying around just because another staff member is trying to send an attachment and is having trouble, so I’m the moral support. I love this not doing real work thing. Terrible. I promise to get to it as soon as her attachment is sent safely. Really, really, I promise.

Had a great time last night with jason and salmon at the Duke…woohooo! Fun talk, wonderful time. Funny waiter, even. I got a free iced tea. He probably thought I was the designated driver…ha ha ha. I came home and wrote a bot help file for the triangle kids…and I think I’ve already seen some of the fruits of my labours…

And now it’s Friday again. I can’t remember what means anymore….

Okay, you know you’re in Toronto when…

Just now, I was coming up in the elevator with a guy holding a bag of his new purchases. And, I swear to god, he rode up the first 21 floors pulling the price tags off and eating them. EATING THEM. Surreal.

Well, I’m at work, and I finished the work I gave myself to do for this shift, and I don’t feel like starting in on something new. Terrible. And I still have an hour and a half to go. I’ve decided that there is only one way of dealing with bad days…buy products from Lush (I mean, don’t they make millions from the fact that days like this exist?), get a new moisturizer, oh, and I need a new conditioner, and a new pair of earrings, and maybe a pizza. Or chinese food. Something like that. Pizza is very comforting though, maybe I should run with that. And I’ll wander through my favourite kitchen store. They always have fun things. OH! I should get some plants for the balcony too. Oh, there are ways to ward off the sad days, oh yes. And I can power the economy at the same time. New body care products, jewelry, a cute new top would be nice too, and fun food I don’t have to prepare. And plants. That could work. Don’t fight it, right? Embrace it. Loll around in it. Rub it into your skin and dance around. Yes, I can do this.

Heard on CBC radio this morning:

“A phd student is technically still a child.”
(In reference to divorce settlements and finanical support, but a beautiful statement nonetheless.)

Well, talk about how different websites look from OS to OS…now I’m in Unix and this sucker is STRANGE looking. Well, I’m here trying to be helpful with the triangle kids, but salmon’s got it pretty much tied up…great tutorial, the kids are loving it. We’re actually 6 minutes late for their break…and they don’t even mind. 🙂

Many new ideas for changing Bingen…I can hardly pull myself away from it.