More Search Strings

More Search Strings

I was going to wait a few days before posting these again, but I’ve gotten some very interesting search strings today. I’m starting to wonder if I should make an art project out of these; a friend of mine long ago had a project of creating random poetry generators. Sometimes I think you could pretty easily collect these things and turn them into completely nonsensical poetry. Collaborative poetry inadvertently created by thousands. The detritus of internet ephemera, turned into art.


The more I think about that idea, the more I like it. That wouldn’t even be that complicated bit of code, I don’t think. I mean, webalizer collects search strings. Couldn’t I just run a query and get it to spit out the last 20 search strings recorded in the form of a poem, and dump them into a webpage?

Anyway, art project ideas aside, the search strings:

do women like butt plugs
The internet is sort of like a magic eightball. And the answer is….ask again later.

beginner anal sex instruction
Noting a theme here? But I don’t think my blog is a particularly helpful resource on this subject. But I bet your local public library has a book you could borrow.

where is libby davies father peter davies
Internet as psychic medium. I’m particularly fond of these full sentence searches; I realize Boolean is for nerds librarians, but the full sentences sort of make it feel as though people think there’s a guy in their monitor who just reads the question and types up the answer. He’s in the kitchen!

medieval peasants foods eaten
I’m fond of this one for two reasons: one, it sounds like this user was making a stab at constructing a subject heading (medieval peasants—foods eaten); and two, I love food history. In my experience researching this question, it appears that most English medieval food was yellow, because their favourite spice was saffron. Just a bit of trivia for you.

imperceptible dictionary
If that’s not already the name of something, it really should be. The Imperceptible Dictionary. It’s like, the ubiquitous dictionary, but different. And less perceptible.

sorry everyone
Internet as confessional. It’s okay, man. Really. We forgive you. Shall we have a group hug?

vacuum dryer flowers
Quick, name three things in your basement right now!

death on the stairs
I feel that this search string is trying to prompt me with a mystery plot idea. The cover of this story would have a smoking gun, a single white pump with some blood on it, and a red rose strategically placed in a dark stairwell. Or this is just someone looking for a Georgette Heyer novel.

librarian quest spear script birds language
At first glance this appears to be merely a string of unrelated words, but no. If you think about it, it’s actually another plot idea. Possibly the plot of some story that’s already been told, but I don’t know anything about that. This is a story about a librarian who goes on a quest to find a spear. In order to uncover the spear, the librarian needs to decipher the language of birds through their curious chicken-scratch script, see. “Eureka!” the librarian shrieked, holding the bird manuscript aloft. “I’ve got it! The spear is in the kitchen with Libby Davies’ father!” Sounds like a fun story.

librarians extinct
“And next we see the now-extinct librarian. Note the pursed lips covered by a long, jointed digit; biologists surmise that this was the posture the librarian assumed when emitting her mating call.”

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