More tidbits to think about from Metafilter: If homosexuality isn’t a choice, is heterosexuality? What about bisexuality? Are we genetic robots, unable to make any decisions without our DNA preapproving them? I personally enjoy the nature vs. nurture argument. I find it interesting. Mostly because of what it says about how we see our options. Is it a choice to be gay? Yes, I think it is. To a point. It’s a choice to act on it, it’s a choice to be that person. To take on that label. Because being gay or lesbian is more about being labelled than anything else. It’s a set of behaviours. But what’s the root of the question? Is it biological, having feelings for people who are the same sex as you? Well, I suppose, since feelings are really just chemical reactions, yes, to some degree it is. But what makes me laugh about the whole thing is the idea that somehow you are actually hardwired to prefer men over women, or vice versa. That’s the part I don’t believe. And I don’t believe it based on anything at all scientific.
I think we’re probably hardwired to be attracted to people. To bodies in general. Cause every little kid ends up with a strange crush on an older girl/boy and everyone laughs about it later on. I was talking to my sister about this this week…she was saying that it made such sense to her that I should be gay. Of course….given her situation in high school….Melissa, would anyone have been surprised if it had been YOU who came out at university, and not ME? Of course not. (She was the man-hater, after all. And a raging feminist. I was a feminist, but not a man-hater.) I wonder if we would be having this conversation at all if we got rid of the idea that there are basically three forms of sexuality: being straight, being gay, and being a fence sitter. I think that’s so ludicrous. What if we understood that we are just sexual, and something might tweak us here and there to go for this and that kind of person, or kind of body, but that we can’t judge beyond that?
The conversation gets silly when people try to determine what ‘gay’ means in the grey areas…if you aren’t opposed to the idea, but never try it, what does that mean? If your fantasies often involve the opposite sex, but you date the same sex? Rather than pulling out the thought police or making up a blood test, maybe we can just admit that all behaviour is a choice…sexuality is the part that’s a given.