rochelle.mazar.ca

Sorry about that, I had to close up and run like the wind after that last time….

2) Paging versus being in the room. What the heck is paging all about, anyway? Yes, I know I use it all the time…but it’s a terrible metaphor, actually, and new users seem to have a tough time understanding the concept. So I don’t know what I’m suggesting exactly, but I know it stumps people (responding to you when you’re not in the room), which, again, might be made easier with an introduction that focuses on objects (look around, watch people come in and out of rooms….aha, that should be in the scavenger hunt too…something about being consious of what it looks like when someone’s in the room…)

3) and….oh, sheesh, will you believe it? Janine and her friend Nancy are on her way up as I write this…so I have to run off again before finishing. Bah.

Well, we seem to be meeting on Tuesday to talk about online teaching. I think that will be very profitable, because I’m still trying to figure out how to formulate in my own mind how I think it works. Or, how it doesn’t work. Trying to target problems, and think about what we can do to fix those problems. It’s really an amazing feeling to know that you can actually either fix some things yourself, or get someone else to fix them….so much control over your environment, making it easier/better.

But certainly right now achieve is designed for new users by people who understand the space inside and out. So that can’t really help the process…

Things I’ve noticed:
1) students often have trouble with the concept of looking at things, looking at themselves, and looking at others. Possibly a scavenger hunt helps with this: what’s an object look like? A person? An exit? I expect some focus on the ‘visual’ elements of the moo as well. Maybe? I don’t know. We need to remember that that requires an orientation too.

2) paging versus being in the room. Granted, I think paging is….hold on, gotta run…

EvaB says she’ll meet me at work today…wooohooo! More talk about online pedagogy tonight…and maybe mysticism. EvaB thinks I’m a mystic, after all.

Argh, exhausted…though, today went by so quickly…I think I can thank the CBC for that. I brought in my solar radio and listened to that all day. That really helps a tedious day pass…

and now I am totally exhausted….

EvaB is coming to visit tomorrow, and salmon and I get to take her out and show her a good time on Friday! I’m so thrilled! We stayed up way too late having an strange and revealing conversation about dreams, and God, and mysticism….

And this morning I thought it prudent to bring my radio in to work today, since this is my last full-time day, for the moment…though, I may shift between CBC and NPR, since I’m hogging one of the work ethernet connections…

More later.

I read somewhere recently that the older you get the harder it is to get your heart broken…because every time someone breaks your heart they also break open all the old wounds, and those heartaches are compounded until, after many heartbreaks, we’re left consumed and overcome by it, the echoes of all those painful moments, the disappointments, the loss, that one person breaking our hearts (again) becomes 5, 10, 20 such experiences, becomes all the pain of our lives in a single stroke, becomes the single voice of all those who have hurt us. And that much heartache is dangerous.

I want to go see the body of St. Bernadette outside of Paris.

It was too cold for the dresses, but it worked out okay. We processed one by one across the covered bridge over to the boathouse on the other side, and the actual ceremony took place at a memorial for the victims of the Montreal massacre. The wedding party faced the river, and the entire crowd stood behind us holding candles. Poor Peter bawled through his vows, it was very sweet. Blake told me afterward that she saw a tear hit his lapel And of course Melissa laughed through it, so that was cute. And afterward we ate and talked and the crowd thinned out and finally I could sit.

At about 11pm I got Janine to take the bobby pins out of my head. Argh. It didn’t even look too bad afterward, thank god. The boathouse looked remarkably good and I think it all went pretty smoothly…though, Pete’s mother made some *interesting* comments at the cake cutting…and Shawn, Peter’s brother, took over the ‘MC’ tasks, wonderfully. He did a nice job.

And then finally the dancefloor got cleared, and the computer got cranked up and MP3s played for the rest of the night….my parents and grandmother and aunt stayed longer than I thought they would…the liquor licence was in my father’s name, so he stayed until 1am when that was *supposed* to give out. I don’t know what really happened after that…I tried to tidy up some, and then I passed out on a couch. For a bit. Then I got cold again and Erik drove me home.

Everyone else else stumbled in in shifts at some point after that…and I woke up thinking that a cat was creeping into my bed…but it was Krista. She decided to share the futon with me.

And….well, I got home yesterday, completely exhausted. And went to bed and got up this morning to go to work…still exhausted.

But…this afternoon I did manage to do some good work on Bingen…I’m writing verbs to make the marketplace more interesting. Now you can buy stuff there, if you have enough money. And then I think i’m going to make the rest of the project interact with you based on what you’re carrying…

Anything else? Hmmm…I made soup. And I bought apricots, too early, but still good.

I simply adore the Busty Whores, and Krista. (And Erik, an honourary BW, and their neighbour, Lisa, honourary Starbucks(tm) BW.) So in spite of some of the inherent difficulties with this weekend, it was saved by the BWs. I even got a cute shirt out of it.

Well. I’m home now, and my head is still hurting. Could I possibly complain about that any more than I already have? Argh. What a weekend. The ceremony went remarkably well. Though, to start, Melissa and the rest of us girls (Blake, Andrea, Krista and me) left her house and were to walk to the boathouse, where the ceremony was to be held outside. We went two blocks before Melissa realized she’d taken us the wrong way. So we walked way around the park and got honked at by several passing cars. And then we walked across the park, and we all got wet feet and Blake got maple keys in her shoes.

It was too cold for the dresses, but it worked out okay. We processed one by one across the covered bridge over to the boathouse on the other side, and the actual ceremony took place at a memorial for the victims of the Montreal massacre. The wedding party faced the river, and the entire crowd stood behind us holding candles. Poor Peter bawled through his vows, it was very sweet. Blake told me afterward that she saw a tear hit his lapel And of course Melissa laughed through it, so that was cute. And afterward we ate and talked and the crowd thinned out and finally I could sit.

At about 11pm I got Janine to take the bobby pins out of my head. Argh. It didn’t even look too bad afterward, thank god. The boathouse looked remarkably good and I think it all went pretty smoothly…though, Pete’s mother made some *interesting* comments at the cake cutting…and Shawn, Peter’s brother, took over the ‘MC’ tasks, wonderfully. He did a nice job.

And then finally the dancefloor got cleared, and the computer got cranked up and MP3s played for the rest of the night….my parents and grandmother and aunt stayed longer than I thought they would…the liquor licence was in my father’s name, so he stayed until 1am when that was *supposed* to give out. I don’t know what really happened after that…I tried to tidy up some, and then I passed out on a couch. For a bit. Then I got cold again and Erik drove me home.

Everyone else else stumbled in in shifts at some point after that…and I woke up thinking that a cat was creeping into my bed…but it was Krista. She decided to share the futon with me.

And….well, I got home yesterday, completely exhausted. And went to bed and got up this morning to go to work…still exhausted.

But…this afternoon I did manage to do some good work on Bingen…I’m writing verbs to make the marketplace more interesting. Now you can buy stuff there, if you have enough money. And then I think i’m going to make the rest of the project interact with you based on what you’re carrying…

Anything else? Hmmm…I made soup. And I bought apricots, too early, but still good.

I simply adore the Busty Whores, and Krista. (And Erik, an honourary BW, and their neighbour, Lisa, honourary Starbucks(tm) BW.) So in spite of some of the inherent difficulties with this weekend, it was saved by the BWs. I even got a cute shirt out of it.

I’m in the middle of wedding hell. Well, now I’ve got 15,000 bobby pins in my head. I have a very cool hairdo, admittedly. It looks like a fountain. I’ll have to get some pictures of it up one of these days. And roses, little roses in it. But it hurts some, because I have a pretty sensitive head, and sheesh, those bobby pins aren’t forgiving. (Who is the bobby character, anyway?) And I got some knee highs to go under that dress, which, I think, is currently at the Mazar house being worked on by my seamstress of an aunt, who want to add an inch or so under the arms. And all I really want to do is take a nap, but I can’t lie down on this hair. But my sandals are damn cute.

So that’s the current update…it’s not raining at the moment, but just you wait….no doubt it will be POURING come time…it would be kind of cool if it were thundering madly too. Memorable. Of course, that navy taffeta won’t like the rain much. Sheesh.

Well, someone at work offered to take my Friday shift, thank god, so now I can go home. Fun. Well, it will be fun, I’ll be staying with Andrea and Erik, who are also hosting Blake and her boyfriend….I adore Andrea, I adore Erik, and I adore Blake, so I assume I’ll adore her boyfriend too if I get to know him. 🙂 And that very nice girl Lisa I met last weekend lives downstairs, how handy. And Andrea went ahead and included me in her lunch plans for Friday….added me to the tally for the reservation. What a doll. So aside from all the other stuff I’m going to have to do (spend time with grandma, and my aunt Ingrid, and yet somehow manage to avoid seeing my father and making my mother feel in the middle again), it should be a good time. As long as I can find a bra to wear with that damn dress….for some reason, the dressmaker decided to eshew the only request I made of her….that the back COVER the BRA I WAS WEARING WHEN SHE MEASURED ME. It’s a good three inches too low. So now I have to find some fancy-ass bra to go with this dress. And the straps were a bit wonky too. So I guess that’s Friday’s activity…trying on dress, forcing dressmaker to finish it, blah blah blah….

And I have phone calls to return in spades after work today. And after the shopping I must do before that. And I’d really just like to read my book. Oh, and I think my new book from chapters arrived in the mail, I got a notice for a package and that’s all I’m expecting. The Stone Carvers, it looked like another great Canadian novel.

salmon and I agreed that we should go to Another Story on the Danforth to redeem our gift certificates, gifts from Patty and Triangle. I’m almost drooling at the thought. Someone (maybe it was Soshi?) suggested to me that when you get a gift certificate like that you should buy an expensive book you would never buy yourself. So the question is: do I go for (expensive) quality, or quantity? A series of softcovers? Maybe 2 1/2 hardcovers? A coffee table book? My leaning is to go for quantity…since it’s going to be quality away. This reminds me of my weekly sci fi book purchase in high school….I would go to the bookstore every Friday with a 5 dollar bill and get a sci fi/fantasy paperback and pocket the nickel. And every time I scanned the options, I was always chosing between 3 or 4, and, since they all cost the same, I usually picked the thickest one. Those were the days….

Up way too early as far as I’m concerned. I was at salmon’s until about 1:30am (eating, jamming, yacking, complaining, all the good stuff), and didn’t get into bed until about 2:30am. And of course I forgot that I had to be at work at 9am this morning. And I think I’m here until 5pm too. Great. What was I thinking? (Oh, right, money money money…) This place is a tomb too….I haven’t even seen my boss yet. Maybe he got hammered at the centre BBQ last night and is taking the morning off…I would be jealous, of course, but not unhappy about that….

Being tired always turns my mind to sad and disturbing topics…I found strange marks on my ankle this morning and was utterly convinced that it was skin cancer.

I’m half looking forward to the wedding this weekend (since I get to see some great people, after all) and half dreading it with all my heart. Armies have been mustered on both sides of the family warzone. The little white flag has been pulled down and the muskets are in full view. So it’s just a matter of time for the fireworks to really start….

Oh boy. What a weekend. I had a great time at my sister’s second and final shower…I met a lovely girl named Lisa who lives in the apartment downstairs whom *everyone* has been telling me I should meet for ages…she was really funny and gave me some great book titles to look up….and I spent some great time with Andrea and Blake, the other bridesmaids. And, surprise surprise, Janine came all the way from London to party with us…and what fun it was.

And now I’m back….helping with some students do *something*, though I don’t really understand what. And I’m thinking about what needs to be ‘fixed’ in the moo…I think i’ve been thinking about that for some time.

I went to see Shrek tonight with my friend Dylan. I really enjoyed it, though I had heard mixed reviews going in…it was very cute. And funny. Sometimes I wondered if it was tastefully funny (lots of bathroom humour) but cute.

And now…I’m exhausted…

You have a secret Hobbit name…go find out what it is! Mine is Goldie Gamwich of the Bree Gamwiches. I’m so glad I’m from Bree. I always had a soft spot for Bree.

Two thoughts are swirling around in my head today, two quotations that have been with me since I was about 13….for some reason they are now functioning for me right now at the same time, they’re the opposites for each other, and that’s compelling to me…

“My marks and scars I carry with me, to be a reminder for me that I have fought His battles who now will be my rewarder.”

This is actually part of an engraving around the stand that holds a memorial book to soliders from the first world war in the parliment buildings in Ottawa. So I guess I learned it when I was in Ottawa for my grade 8 class trip. Now, the actual point of this statement is that going to war is a godly thing to do, and I’m not sure what to make of that, but I’d rather deconstruct it in a different way…I love the idea of the marks and scars being somehow optional, ‘I carry with me’, there’s a sense of choice there, I will carry these…it reminds me of the Ondaatje line, “wounded without the pleasure of a scar.” The scar has a purpose, and you can claim that purpose and take that purpose with you….

“When thou passest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned, for the fire is roses.”

This is the second quotation. It’s actually from Pilgrim’s Progress, not the most fun book in the world to read…I actually read it in full in my last year at Carleton in a Renaissance lit class. But I got that quotation from Madeleine L’Engle’s A Swiftly Tilting Planet when I was a kid, that was one of my favourite books…I still like to reread that one. But….this always stayed with me…which, as I know now, it really a statement about how Jesus is always with the pilgrim, protecting him, keeping him from harm that looks devestating, but faith will turn the fire to roses….lovely, lovely, but now I’m thinking of this differently….this is exactly what Ondaatje said, “without the pleasure…” the fire of roses is still a fire, but the pilgrim doesn’t get to carry his marks and scars with him as a reminder that he has fought. Is it better this way? To be washed clean of your battles? Or better to be scarred by them, not to be crippled, but to be reminded?

Wow, Pyra’s T1 provider bites. God knows what the problem is, but blogspot has been down for days, and the folks at Pyra seem to be pulling out their hair. And of course Ev is in Amsterdam living it up, so the others are left to fend for themselves. At this point they’re begging anyone in the area who thinks they can bring the T1 back up to take over. ISP wanted: Pyra and thousands of bloggers need you!

I’m preparing for that class tonight…what a mess. First, I didn’t realize that the GUI won’t allow for multiple initial dig points for classes….never assume you understand something, that’s what I learned from that. So the system will allow for only ONE point from which to dig. So I set all the four rooms I want them to dig from to public_hub = 1 (Thanks to Brin) , so that anyone can add an exit from and to those rooms, and changed the building instructions to ‘manual’ (text @digging) instead of GUI. They can do the describing in GUI, and the @dig in text. It’ll work. 🙂 Oh, and as I type that….another of the wizards got around to changing the GUI to allow for multiple initial dig points. Right now. Just now. Am I going to go back and fix what I just fixed? No way. Screw it.

And…I just met a student from this class online who is bringing on two OTHER students to be the research subjects for his/her own personal project, without getting permission to do so. And this thing starts tonight. What have we learned?

1) It’s GREAT that profs and students are interested in using the MOO for a variety of reasons. And clearly there’s lots to be developed and lots of good ideas to follow through on. And even though this class might be tricky, I think it will be a success in some way or other…probably not the way it was supposed to be a success.

2) teachers of all shapes, sizes and colours should have a TUTORIAL before the even DECIDE to teach inMOO. Not that the moo is that difficult, but you’d better have a grip on the space before you hop on in. I suggest that teachers have a quota of things to do before we even LET them bring their classes on. That’s probably a little harsh. But seriously. It could go something like this:

– build a room.
– add seats, details, and room noises.
– upload a picture.
– add a picture to your room or character.
-change your player messages.
– send MOOmail.
– page someone.
– build 3 different kinds of objects.
– describe 2 other projects on the moo.

I mean, it could be something we SUGGEST teachers do before they bring a class in. Because we can’t hand hold everyone from beginning to end….I don’t mind being helpful, but there comes a point…

Patty and Jim didn’t really have a clue what was going on with achieve either, but they were ALWAYS in charge of that class and were ALWAYS in control of what went down. And they also knew when to step back and bring others in to teach the stuff they weren’t clear on. (Unlike this current class, where I am the ‘help’ and wasn’t even invited to the initial moo introduction class.) And they sat back and listened long enough to get a grip on the space and to know how much they didn’t understand about it. I have to say I’ve never had a more inspiring conversation than explaining how things work on a moo to Patty, in terms of it being an object oriented space as opposed to a website, and then watching her digest that and come up with how to use this basic nature of the space in really creative ways….she truly is a remarkble teacher, and I’m coming to apprieciate that more and more. I mean, to be open enough to listen and learn and digest….she has some GREAT ideas for doing moo projects with students, and she while she talks about herself as a techno zygote, she was with us on that wavelength 100% about the possibilities of the moo and turned around and gave the kids the most amazing set of guidelines that were totally workable and totally true to the space. So she’s not just a good teacher, she’s a good learner. Maybe that’s the key….

I suspect that because of that openness, the triangle kids are going to have a better understanding of the MOO as an educational space than these OISE graduate students will….now that’s telling.

Alternative trajectory of my life:

519, (705), 613, 617, 416.

Area codes where I lived, with the summer camp one in brackets.

Well, after all kinds of strange blog problems….

I did manage to meet with Trish this afternoon. What a doll! I had such a nice time chatting with her. So easy to talk at. 🙂 And I can see she’s a talker too, so I’m glad we’ve got rendezvous #2 already arranged. I wandered home in the rain (and it wasn’t just drizzling) with no umbrella (I seem to have mislaid it) and no jacket. So now I’m snuggling back up again with the computer and thinking about dinner….

Aaaah….another long day.

I had a very long, very unproductive meeting with the teacher for the new online class project I’m working on. Let’s just say that one of us was having trouble with the extreme basics and I’m a little scared that one of us is preparing to teach a unit in a space that one of us doesn’t understand in the slightest. ‘Nuff said.

But…I did retrieve the day by creating two new generics I’ve been thinking about…. a generic talking stick room and a generic talking stick .

It is based on the tradition in many
Native American nations of using a ceremonial stick to determine who speaks.
Many native political structures begin meetings with the elder taking the
talking stick; when s/he is finished speaking s/he passes the stick to
another, and the process continues until everyone has had their say. They
believe that by pacing opinions, and forcing everyone to not just react but
think and speak with gravity helps groups to make good and thoughtful
decisions.

So I feel good about that, though this is just TSR 1.0, the beta. I think I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome too. Fun wow. 🙂 Obviously I’m working too hard. But I enjoy it…I saw a silly movie today called Matilda. (The stuff they put on TV during the Victoria Day long weekend.) It’s about a little girl who has telekinetic powers. I have to say that programming makes me feel like *I* have telekinetic power…I think it and it happens. Now that’s exciting. And now I’d better rest this hand/arm of mine…

Arrrrgh….

Yesterday was the world’s longest day. For me. Started in the wee hours preparing for a 9am meeting with the instructor for the class I’m helping out next week…and I think I’m stepping on the toes of every single person I know…suddenly Force For Good isn’t such a good thing….

And my dress isn’t even partly finished, which is fine…and I have no shoes…and now I’m so tired…I slept on the floor last night….because the bed sucks….now I’m heading out to watch a flick at a chick’s place….nice chick makes for a good night….

Manhattan Funk, a new blog by my one and only New York friend. A blog to keep an eye on….

Donatello says, “people say I’m alot like eeyore”
Brin [to Donatello]: “Slow, depressed, with a nail in your ass?”

Worked *very* hard today getting ready for the next moo class that’s coming through. I don’t think I’ve written that many help files in my life. I’ve made a vending machine that dispenses pretty much everything…maps, the help bell, the file manager, the sketch board, my coin (just for fun), and all of my help files to date. I wrote a basic moo commands file (VERY basic), eMOOtions, building and personalizing your home, and MOOtiquette. I can’t quite decide what should be next, if anything. But my head is spinning, my stomach is roiling, and the idea of another help file makes me feel a little sick. So perhaps it’s time to switch gears.

I have NO idea how this class is going to go. I’ve already made a faux pas with my ring bell verb…it’s set up to contact me when rung, and then a list of others…but that list needed to be approved first. So I got my knuckles rapped for that. But the bell is working well now, and is appropriately coded, thankfully. I’m just hoping everyone forgives me my tresspasses and leads me not into temptation. Well, they can lead me into temptation if they really feel like it, since salmon has already led me to guacamole. 😛 Well, so I hope this class goes okay. I know how difficult it was when we switched the triangle kids from in class instruction to online instruction…it’s a real shift, it’s complicated. So this class is doing all their moo work from home….I wonder what issues will come up first. My desperate scrabbling for help files is my attempt to anticipate 12 students ringing bells at me all at the same time….

I definitely get the impression that I wasn’t the first choice for this project. But I also definitely see why it’s fallen to me. There are some people in this world that just can’t be depended on, unfortunately. But I’m pleased about the team that I’m going to be working with..Penny has some really interesting ideas, and I’m looking forward to seeing how those ideas grow as she comes really understand the space she’s working in…I think it will be amazing. And Miao is a sweetheart, I’m looking forward to working with her more closely. She’s a gem, and she has an amazing capacity to bring resources into the MOO. The shift for me from playing in the MOO to working in the MOO was almost imperceptible…I didn’t even really notice it until Trish asked me if achieve is a place where I play or work. What I’ve been doing with salmon and jason hasn’t felt like actual work. It hadn’t really occured to me yet. Maybe it’s because my actual ‘work’ is history, and this is all a sidebar that keeps me going…

I’m not sure what I would do without them right now. They, all of them, salmon, jason, emma, miao, brin, EvaB, rhonna, all of them, have really helped me move from a place of being totally miserable in Toronto to being pretty darn happy here. I’ll have to think about an appropriate expression of that….I’m sure I can now program something for that…

Well, I got asked twice if I could make a ‘ring for service’ feature for a class….so, I created an object (a bell) that, when rung, sends a message to me saying that the person who rang it needs me. (Don’t we all like to feel needed!) When it comes to class time, I suspect that bells will be ringing constantly. I’m not sure how I feel about responding to a bell, but it’s just more intuitive than a page…who pages people these days? And isn’t paging really when a person gets their name called over a loudspeaker? They’ll get to that eventually, but until then, then can ring the bell. And yes, we realize the disco connection. (I would have put on a sound clip if I could find one.) Of course, it won’t tell them anything special if I’m not online….not yet. That can be the project for tomorrow. No triangle tomorrow! Weep weep!

And I’m hitching a ride back to Guelph this weekend (again) to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress, and again I don’t have shoes yet. Maybe that also can be on my agenda for tomorrow. We were thinking about silver sandals. I’m sure I’ll have lots of uses for silver sandals later on in life…

And, I managed to convince Trish (a former Doe Lake camper and current native studies/psych/education student at Trent) not only to moo, but to get a char and build a room! Amazing! Granted, it didn’t take much arm-twisting to do it. She’s really able to see the possibilities of the place….so far, she’s the first person to have found me through my blog…I’m looking forward to seeing who’s next. 🙂

I had a lovely afternoon with my dear friend Soshi. We don’t spend NEARLY enough time together. Why? No good reason. We just read each other’s blogs obsessively and feel as though we’re in constant contact….what did we do before blogs? She fed me so well I’m still full to brimming. Some people just feed you body and soul…